First Review: The Abbey

How do you solve a problem like living with Benedictine nuns?

33 days is practically the length of the endurance test a Survivor winner waits to win $1Million. It’s the same duration that five Aussie women will spend in a monastery, shunning modern luxuries, mobile phones, and even conversation for not one red cent. Who on earth would agree to this?

And more to the point, why would humble nuns allow a TV crew shooting their every move? Such is the fascination of The Abbey, the ABC’s new 3 part observational series.

I presume, like the Customs and Quarantines or RSPCA have found, this is an exercise in TV PR. If this series resonates with viewers it may unlock a wider communal spirituality.

Heading up The Abbey is Sister Hilda, a straight-forward, dinky-di character who will oversee the womens’ indoctrination. “They are going to die!” she assures us. Yikes. Hilda serves as Narrator, a new-found skill given her heavy-handed approach to “Spelling! Out! The! Drama!” Nuntheless, (oh the array of puns…) Hilda is a dear old thing, relishing the charge of her five Benedictine proteges.

The sisters arise at 4am daily -to pray for the rest of us who are about to start our day. Talk about Catholic guilt. They also go to church seven times a day. A DAY! And they are almost-universally silent, even during communal meals. Julie Andrews would be impaling herself with her guitar by the second day with this lot.

Our five women are diversely cast: from Gold Coast socialite to divorced country woman facing 50 (she was particularly interesting, there may well be more to her story…). In an idyllic setting their routine is regimented to an inch of its life, from prayer to gardening to candlework and more prayer. Such self-sustaining sisters could probably commandeer the QEII without batting a habit.

That said, I couldn’t help but wonder how the presence of camera crews affected them –were these nuns really so godly, or did they have wine racket with the greenies on the side?

The Abbey is an intruiging exercise, and a world the ABC is more than chuffed to access. It’s certainly interesting to see what lengths some will go to to attain sprituality and seeing what others will endure just to define their own community.

Compass: The Abbey premieres 9:25pm Sunday on ABC.