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Unreal Estate

You'll either love playing sticky-beak, or be turned off by so much wealth on display, in Nine's new series.

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I reckon one of two things will happen when audiences sit down to watch Unreal Estate.

They will either revel in the chance to be a right royal sticky-beak, or they will feel awkward about so much wealth served up as entertainment.

Nine’s new property show unashamedly sticks its voyeur cameras into some of the most over the top homes in the country. Most are dripping in money and property values, while one or two fall into the bizarre or creative categories.

Co-host Kate Langbroek even admits to being a sticky-beak when she visits the lavish $20m Airlie Beach home dubbed Mandalay. This breathtaking multi-level waterfront home is some 2500 square metres and comes with its own pool, marina and two helipads. Even Langbroek’s own elongated delivery isn’t enough to fully describe the rococo design of this baby. Like something that belongs on the Mediterranean we are told (true, but Mandalay is in Myanmar maybe it needs another name?).

The cameras show off all its bling -leaving the Habibs mansion for dead. But despite the premise telling us we would also meet the people behind the homes, the owners are a reclusive pair. Sure enough, they’ve put this on the market for $20m -so we’re left with a property agent to spruik its attributes. Wait am I watching a sales pitch?

Meanwhile (there’s a lot of ‘meanwhile’ in this show), fellow co-host Cam Knight is in Noosa meeting the Watsons in their modern, multi-level ocean-view home, Azure. With its infinity pool and open air feel this looks like a front cover for Home Beautiful. This $7m indulgence has ocean blue and Greek-inspired white for days. Owners Deb & Glenn Watson bask in Knight’s understandable astonishment, and the excess would make Real Housewives of Melbourne in a cat fight for a dinner invitation. Wryly, we hear Jessie J. singing “it’s not about the money money, money” in the background.

While Mandalay and Azure are the showstoppers, three other homes are featured in the opening episode: eccentric Kevin du-val has (over) decorated his Birrell St Manor in Tamarama with antiques and collectibles; the 7 level Bilgola owned by the Touws has a Jamie Durie-designed garden and a “whale rib cage” viewing platform on the roof; Marian Drew has a unique rainforest home in Agnes Waters, north of Cairns, with a round design inspired by Aussie water tanks. The latter is a house at one with its environment, with low level impact, solar power, tank water and “turbine windows” -it’s exactly the kind of house one would expect to see on Grand Designs and more of this would be welcome.

Our hosts present individually, rather than as duo, but still can’t get to every property featured. They endeavour to keep a bit of humour amid all the “gosh, gee” reactions, the barest of specs and remind us that we poor underlings should consider ourselves lucky just to see how the other half live. Lifestyles of the rich and not so famous? Buy a lotto ticket and you too can have your own pool boy and chef.

As property shows go, this is about as no-fuss as they come, yet at least it does so without pretending to offer more. It’s not promising before / after makeovers, DIY, auctions, nor 2 year architectural builds. Producers have certainly worked hard to find eye candy homes and frankly print media has been showing off excess homes for years, so why not TV? But it also feels somewhat like an extended property segment from A Current Affair, albeit with more personality.

If you do want to be a sticky beak, Unreal Estate is right up your alley. Oh and it’s also pretty perfect for someone looking to case the joint too!

Unreal Estate airs 8:40pm Tuesday on Nine.

9 Responses

  1. Some of these houses are so tacky and ugly it is hard to believe. And hey what about that guy who looked embalmed with the painted on eyebrows? Wow. Money cannot buy taste. The best home was probably the least expensive. The 3 million dollar house that was all white and with amazing views. That was gorgeous. It was Azure 26 I think.

  2. I’m trying to remember what Deborah Hutton’s Location Location was like. I suspect this is going to be somewhat trashier.

    Whatever became of Deborah Hutton? Loved her.

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