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Bert’s hair on tour

Look I do like Bert, but here’s some news that I really don’t get.

Bert’s hair is going on tour.

Why?

If this is a stunt to supposedly endear us to Bert’s Family Feud it seems misguided to me.

Nine wryly tells us that Bert’s retired hairpiece, styled for him in 2005, will criss-cross the country from the Sunshine Coast to Perth to be won by a home viewer, along with a $10,000 prize.

The cash bit I understand. But I couldn’t think of anything worse than having Bert’s hair in my house (and I consider myself something of a memorabilia fan). But Bert’s hair? Eww. Two words. E- BAY.

Maybe it’s supposed to be a comic take on the fact that Graham Kennedy’s crown sold for $17,000 this week. Now that would be worth having.

All of this is a distraction from the bleedingly obvious. Bert’s Family Feud is dragging down National Nine News. Nine needs to recognise that the audience has fallen into two camps with Bert, love or hate. I am still in the first, but I don’t think a hairpiece touring the land is really the answer. The problem is format and timeslot. It is essentially a twee format that is against the killer might of Deal or No Deal. Moved to 5pm it might fare better.

And when, oh, when will Nine give Bert a Saturday Parkinson style show? He’s the next best interviewer after Denton but all he gets to ask is ‘Name something you see at a Birthday Party?”

Press Release:

In the magnificent tradition of some of Australia’s greatest tours (Royalty, The Ashes, The Rolling Stones) comes the ultimate tour … Bert’s hair.

Bert and his hair will soon be parted – in May, BERT’S FAMILY FEUD will start a two-week cash giveaway, with a lucky home viewer winning $1000 each night, culminating in the grand prize of Bert’s famed locks, beautifully presented on a custom-made bust and stand, plus $10,000.

The hairpiece and stand will embark on a national tour to be launched on Thursday, April 26 on Channel Nine’s TODAY. From there the hairpiece will tour to Sydney, Brisbane, Sunshine Coast, Gold Coast, Adelaide and Perth.

Bert’s hair tour dates:
May 1-6 Melbourne
May 7-8 Brisbane (Bert in Brisbane Tuesday, May 9)
May 9-10 Sunshine Coast
May 11-13 Gold Coast
May 14-20 Adelaide (Bert in Adelaide Thursday, May 17)
May 21 -25 Sydney (Bert in Sydney Tuesday, May 22)
May 26-30 Perth

The stylish hairpiece, designed for Bert in 2005, has graced the red carpet at numerous premieres and Logies events, appeared countless times on national television, and was part of the family when Bert walked his daughter Lauren down the aisle at her wedding to Australian Olympian Matt Welsh last year.

“For me it’s a case of ‘hair today, gone tomorrow’,” says Bert. “But I think it will be a lot of fun. I can promise you there is not one speck of dandruff.

“I look forward to being up on someone’s mantelpiece or wherever great works of art are displayed.”

Maybe I need a better sense of humour?

5 Responses

  1. This is just silly, hairpiece on tour … cheap and nasty publicity stunt … all totally wrong because Bert definitely is wasted on a lame game show and should have a Parkinson style show. It is insulting that Nine put him on the game show in the first place!
    Jack!

  2. Leo not sure a Bert chat show would work that early in the evening but you are right in saying Nine needs to confront Seven head on now that DWTS is ending.

    Their Tuesday line up of 20 to 1 and CSI repeats is dreadful. If they strike now while DWTS is off they could diminish its return if it comes back later in the year (as if it won’t!).

  3. I’m with you David. When I first saw the headline for this story for my first thought was… “Eew.”

    Seriously, what was he thinking? What kind of person would BRAG about wearing a hairpiece. If he feels comfortable with it I can respect that, but to flaunt it around like a “work of art” is just tacky.

  4. Bert’s wasted on Family Fued. A great idea david about a Parkinson style show, would work well & may give 9 a much needed hit. Maybe in the Tuesday night slot, now that Dancing is finishing 9 should really pull out something solid to field off It Takes Two!

  5. I went to a recent taping of Bert’s Family Feud – and the (obviously well-worn) off-camera routines of Bert Newton and Pete Smith were revolting, a couple of old men trying to lure pretty young females in the audience with “can i give you a chocolate?” (and worse ones than that), OK it might have been funny the first time, but this went on the whole night.. every prize that was on offer was handed to a ‘pretty young girl’ in the audience.. it was sexist and offensive. i’d always respected Bert and his career but i walked away from the night feeling disappointed..

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