Mon May 28

[Nine/6:00am] Today. Karl Stefanovic and Lisa Wilkinson.
[Nine/8:35pm] 1 vs 100
[Nine/9:35pm] CSI rpt.
[Nine/12:05am Tue] The Dead Zone. Series return.

[ABC/5:15pm] Planet Sketch. New Series. Aardman Animations Limited and DECODE Entertainment Inc. present the second instalment of Planet Sketch. The series still features a quirky collection of witty, off-beat characters in humorous situations. But this new season also introduces more fun-loving characters with even more outrageous behaviour. Brought to life by a unique design style, fun colourful animation and high quality writing, characters like Nosepicker Girl and Ninja Handyman will remain comedic classics, while new additions like Melville and Useless Starship Computer will also become memorable, schoolyard favourites. Episode One: Monday, May 28 at 5.15pm. Always on call, Ninja Handyman saves the family soup from being too drab by adding too much pepper and then drinking it himself. Nosepicker Girl finds a musical instrument deep in the trenches of her nose and the Magnificent Mesmo Mutt prefers not to have to chase the mouse himself, so he uses his magic hypnotising powers to force his master to deal with the unwelcome rodent instead.
[ABC/5:25pm] Young Dracula. Young Dracula follows the adventures of Vlad, an irrepressible twelve-year-old boy as he tries to fit into a new school after moving with his family from their gothic castle in Transylvania to English suburbia. Vlad has to overcome one major difficulty – he has to hide the fact that he comes from a family of vampires. Constantly having to make sure that friends are not turned into involuntary blood donors for his father, Count Dracula; having to stay up when normal kids are going to bed; brushing off parental advice to always seek revenge; and making sure the neighbours don’t discover the truth about his family, are just a few of the things that Vlad has to contend with on a daily basis. As if all that weren’t enough, Vlad’s absentee mum, who’s taken up with a werewolf, puts in an occasional appearance, which doesn’t improve the Count’s normally grumpy demeanour. And then there’s his truly-mental woodwork teacher, Van Helsing, a self-styled vampire hunter who’s intent on bringing the family down. Will Vlad, along with his father, his vampish, older sister Ingrid, and their cockroach sandwich-eating servant, Renfield, be exposed for what they truly are, or will Vlad get to grow up as a normal boy – albeit in a rather dysfunctional family – and avoid growing fangs and turning into a fully-fledged vampire when he reaches sixteen? In episode one, having been chased out of Transylvania by revolting peasants the Dracula family are forced to leave and start a new life in Stokely. Once they’ve arrived at the castle the Count lays down the law to his two children Vlad and Ingrid – there is to be no mixing with the locals.
[ABC/8:00pm] Australian Story
[ABC/8:30pm] Four Corners As capitalism constantly discovers new ways of mining capital, this week’s Four Corners asks if the wave of private equity will roll past and peter out, or whether it’s only just beginning to gather strength.
[ABC/9:20pm] Media Watch
[ABC/9:35pm] More than Enough Rope. More Than ENOUGH ROPE is a five week season of our favourite interviews as never seen before. All five have been renovated and refurbished, with stunning new views and prestige fittings. All feature previously unscreened material – in some cases as much as 50 per cent has been restored. Each of the five key interviewees has been chosen to represent a particular type of guest or challenge. This themed approach allows us to examine broader issues, and to delve further into the rich ENOUGH ROPE archive. Finally, and most significantly, More Than ENOUGH ROPE takes the viewer inside the interview, pulling back the curtain to uncover the thought processes and preparation behind ENOUGH ROPE’S successful interview style. Using the wonders of modern technology (and the pause button) host Andrew Denton freezes proceedings to comment during the interviews, explaining what he was thinking and how it feels to sit in his chair. When Interviewees Attack: Richard E. Grant. What happens when conversations go pear-shaped, featuring the heat-seeking interviewee Richard E. Grant, as well as Jeff Kennett, Lisa Marie Presley and Rachel Ward.

[Seven/9:00am] The Fairies. Final. FAIRYBEACH CRICKET / MAGIC PHOTOS
It’s dress-up time in Fairyland, plus the Fairies look through their photo album.
[Seven/11:00am] Moonlighting. CAMILLE. David decides to help a woman who becomes a heroine when she stops an assassination attempt against a U.S. Senator. Guest starring WHOOPI GOLDBERG.
[Seven/8:30pm\ Desperate Housewives. MY HUSBAND, THE PIG. Rex Van De Kamp gives us a male’s narrative and point of view of the goings on at Wisteria Lane. Gabrielle catches the eye of a powerful and wealthy suitor. Edie gets a visit from an unexpected someone from her past. An unanticipated pregnancy creates complications. Guest starring STEVEN CULP and JOHN SLATTERY.
[Seven/9:30pm] Brothers and Sisters. THE OTHER WALKER. News of William Walker and Holly Harper’s illegitimate daughter, Rebecca, shakes the Walker family to the core. Everyone reacts differently to the shock as the family deal with the reality of another sibling.
[Seven/10:30pm] Boston Legal. FAT BURNER. Once again Alan is asked to defend Denny, this time for illegally shipping human fat out of the country. Clarence finds himself in over his head when his first case turns out to be a first-degree murder charge involving a Haitian slave who stabbed her owner. In the wake of Denise’s decision to keep the baby, Jeffrey makes a bold decision.
[Seven/11:30pm] Scrubs. MY SCRUBS. Unbeknown to Dr. Kelso, J.D. and Turk try to beat the system to treat the Chief’s uninsured friend. Elsewhere, Dr. Kelso is concerned about a clothing thief. Dr. Cox tries to convince Elliot that a reformed drug addict isn’t exactly clean. The Janitor blackmails Carla.

[Ten/7:30pm] Big Brother – Live Nominations
[Ten/8:30pm] Supernatural. “Heart”

[SBS/7:30pm] Mythbusters – Scuba Diver – This week Adam and Jamie ask the question: Can an unsuspecting scuba diver be sucked out of the water by a fire-fighting helicopter and get spat out or dropped in the middle of a forest fire? They attempt to solve this puzzling question, along with firing a bullet at a tank of petrol, shoving a banana in a car’s exhaust pipe and putting sugar in a car’s petrol tank…all just to see what happens (From the US, in English) (Documentary Series) (Rpt) PG CC
[SBS/8:30pm] South Park – Death Camp Of Tolerance – A loveable new character, Mr Slave, makes his debut as Mr. Garrison desperately tries to get fired from his new job as the boys’ 4th grade teacher. Meanwhile, our little heroes get sent to the Deathcamp of Intolerance for not tolerating Mr. Garrison’s intolerable behavior (e.g. sticking a gerbil up Mr. Slave’s ass). Lemmiwinks (the afore-mentioned gerbil) guest-stars. (From the US, in English) (Animated Comedy Series) (Rpt) M (A,S)
[SBS/9:00pm] Drawn Together – Captain Hero’s alter-ego, the mild-mannered reporter Tim Tommerson, comes to visit and spends a lot of gay time with Xandir . The housemates learn that “Drawn Together” got an “F” from Entertainment Weekly and they want revenge. (From the US, in English) (Animated Comedy Series) MA (A,S) CC WS
[SBS/11:00pm] Oz. It’s the stuff of nightmares, even for the toughest of the tough. Within the walls of the Oswald State Correctional Facility – aka Oz – an experimental prison unit dubbed Emerald City forms a microcosm of jail life. The first season of OZ, the acclaimed and unflinching drama series set within Emerald City’s impenetrable walls, returns to SBS Television on Monday, May 28, at 11pm. Created and written by Tom Fontana (Homicide: Life on the Street), Oz is a living hell, with staff and inmates fighting a constant battle for survival. Under horrifying conditions, the staff tries to change the violent, amoral culture of prejudice and cruelty. Power struggles between ethnically divided gangs – the Aryan Brotherhood, the Homeboys, the Latinos, the Muslims, the Irish and the Italians – and shifting loyalties add to an unstable, unpredictable and violent environment. For inmates and prison officers alike, escaping the rivalries proves impossible. ”If you’re going to do a show about prison, you can’t do a show that people will be comfortable watching. If I’ve made people uncomfortable, I’ve succeeded,” says Tom Fontana of his unrelenting drama. See some of television’s most famous faces- where they began. Augustus Hill, the wheelchair-bound narrator (played by Harold Perrineau- Lost); Vern “the Nazi” Schillinger (J.K. Simmons- Spiderman 3); lawyer-turned-inmate Tobias Beecher (Lee Tergesen- Desperate Housewives); Chris Keller (Chris Meloni- Law and Order SVU); and Warden Leo Glynn (Ernie Hudson- Desperate Housewives). Visit OZ on Monday nights. And be thankful you can leave. Rpt.
[SBS/12:00am Tue] Movie: Festival In Cannes – People converge on Cannes during the film festival, trying to “sell” their individual talents or projects. An American actress is seeking backing for a low-budget script she’s written; an aging but radiant screen icon must choose between a leading role and a lucrative cameo in a big Tom Hanks picture; a slimy Hollywood producer tries to woo Alice away from Millie. He wants Millie to be in his film so much that he even offers Millie’s philandering, estranged husband, once a leading filmmaker – the opportunity to direct it. On the sidelines, there is an equally endearing bunch – the up-and-comers. Directed by Henry Jaglom, and stars Jenny Gabrielle and Greta Scacchi (From the US, in English) (Drama) (2001) M (L) WS

[Fox8/8:30pm] On the Lot. Audition Show 2.
[Ovation/9:30pm] Tina Turner: Live in Rio.