Old Skool with Terry & Gita

More bling than Beyonce, more chutzpah than Joan Rivers and Estelle Getty. Here's more trash telly from the producers of The Simple Life, just without Paris and Nicole.

What do you do when you can’t shoot another TV series with Paris and Nicole? Easy: apply the same idea to another pair – two old ducks, just as much out of their comfort zone as Hilton and Richie. That’s what Simple Life producers Bunim-Murray have done in Old Skool with Terry & Gita.

Terry Moore and Gita Hall are about to get an education in what it means to be Generation Y in California – an extreme, drug-fuelled, bad-ass, celebrity-whoring mother of a state. These two septuagenarians are willing to learn all there is about life in 2008, facing the set-ups the producers have arranged without a scintilla of hesitation. Porn shoot? Rehab? Getting arrested? Bring it on.

Both women look like their 70s-era plastic surgeries have sagged beyond respectability. They don ghoulish make-up and more bling than Beyonce, possessing enough chutzpah to rival Joan Rivers or Estelle Getty.

Moore has a lengthy CV as a Hollywood belle, with over 60 years in film and television including Bonanza, Peyton Place, Batman and The Love Boat. She’s Howard Hughes’s widow, while her friend Hall was crowned ‘Miss Stockholm 1952’ and was the world’s “first supermodel”

In the first episode of Old Skool the two learn all about the LA porn industry. Meeting Jesse Jane, a successful, buxom blonde in her mansion, Moore and Hall are stunned at her lavish surrounds. No crack-addicted whores here. A visit to an adult shop results in some hilarious reactions, and they certainly cop an eyeful while attending a casting session.

In the second episode, blogger Perez Hilton advises them on how to party like a celebrity and wind up arrested. They land in the same prison as Nicole Richie, but complain about their night in lock-up. Later, they visit both an expensive celebrity rehab and a ‘real’ rehab facility where almost all the patients are African-American. Having compared the institutions, the pair decide they really don’t see the point in ‘rewarding’ addicted celebrities with an all-expenses paid holiday. Welcome to 2008, gals.

Later episodes will feature a gay pride march, pistol protection, hip hop DJ-ing, crumping, pole dancing… you get the idea. It’s great trash telly. Just be glad it isn’t your grandmother.

Old Skool with Terry and Gita premieres 9pm Wednesday on the Biography Channel.

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