Desperate Housewives’ drinking game

British website Digital Spy has devised a “Drinking Game” for Desperate Housewives.

Rule One – Down a shot during any scene featuring a large amount of cleavage, topless men or general flashes of nudity. Drink two if it features Nicolette Sheridan or Teri Hatcher.

Rule Two – Chug a bottle of your best wine every time Bree Hodge is featured serving or cooking food in her home.

Rule Three – **Spoiler deleted** (sorry hasn’t aired in Oz yet)

Rule Four – Each time Susan is clumsy/falls over/makes an idiot of herself in front of a man, chug a pint of beer.

Rule Five – If the housewives play a game of cards or share some coffee, have a couple of swigs of Baileys.

Rule Six – Whenever there’s a reference to shoes or clothes by Gabby, down a pint of snakepint through a Jimmy Choo shoe.

Rule Seven – If at any point you think the writers are struggling to find a storyline for Katherine (Dana Delany), polish off a double vodka.

Rule Eight – Swig some whiskey whenever Dave Williams (Neal McDonough) stares into the distance and does his whole psychotic nutter act.

Rule Nine – At any plot twist (usually a baddie turns out to be goodie or vice-versa) down a triple rum.

Rule Ten – Polish off all your remaining drinks when Mary Alice Young ends the show with one of her annoying voice-overs, which attempt to add some weighty meaning to the fluffy drama.

And here’s a few more I’m adding.

Have a swig every time:

– Someone empties the trash just to run into a neighbour. Same for collecting the mail.
– Edie goes for a jog.
– Gabby gets a meaningless, lightweight storyline.
– The gay neighbours do absolutely nothing.
– Orson (Kyle Maclachlan) has a wasted scene that causes you to lament how mesmerising he was in Twin Peaks.
– Mary Alice says the word “Yes.”
– Pizzicato is used in the soundtrack.
– They fail to get an Emmy nomination.