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Australian Story: Nov 1

Former Big Brother contestant David Graham talks to Australian Story about coming out on national television and family expectations.

When he came out publicly on Big Brother 2006 it was a coming out for television audiences too.

Big Brother fans had warmed quickly to the handsome “Farmer Dave” from Queensland. But as he told his housemates he was “the token gay” on the TEN reality show, not all of his family had been fully aware of his sexuality.

On Monday’s Australian Story, Graham talks about coming out, living up to the expectations of a father who held traditional views.

“It was very strange. Was it a father saying, ‘Forgive me for being not the perfect father’? Or was it a father saying, ‘I forgive you for not being the perfect son’? I don’t know what it was and what it meant, but I’m glad it happened,” he says.

David Graham was destined to a life on the land. As the youngest of a family with agriculture in its DNA, David’s future in farming was his birth-right.

Like generations of Graham men before him, David had been anointed heir apparent to the family property in rural Queensland.

Then, a moment in 2006 challenged this sense of inevitability.

When David ‘came out’ on national television, his already strained relationship with his traditionalist and homophobic father was tested to its limits.

While his profile as a gay identity soared, his intensely private and conservative family challenged David’s decision to declare his sexuality so publicly and without their prior knowledge.

Moreover, some in the family questioned his motivation and competence to inherit the family legacy.

Now, after several years of soul searching, David is forging a city career, while still working towards his dream of returning to the family property.

As he maintains a contentious presence in the National Party, and harbours ambitions for a political future, David still struggles to balance his need to live an honest and personally fulfilling life, with his desire to honour his family heritage.

Australian Story, introduced by Kate Ceberano, airs 8pm Monday on ABC1.

7 Responses

  1. Interesting comments about his all boys school. They have an anti-bullying policy. Do they also have a positive, affirming policy to help their gay students through the difficult times of adolescence? I went to an all boys boarding school in the 1950s. We were rougher and tougher in those days. Our house of 40 boys had four gays in it. Nobody cared. Bullies got sorted out on a one to one basis. The biggest boy in the house took me out the back and taught me how to box on the back lawn. We cared for each other. It was a great school. We weren’t always happy, but our school was our home. If all our boarding schools taught their kids how to be positive and accepting they’d be doing a great job. They all have gay kids – about 10%. Do they have a positive written policy which is affirming and accepting. Or are they among the dinosaurs who claim “We don’t have any gay kids here.”

  2. You may want to watch another ABC programme Compass and the report on homosexuality.
    In this report scientific evidence was presented that homosexuality is both genetic and environmentally determined.
    You cannot ignore science. Look what the church did to Galileo when he invented the telescope!
    Ironically, farmers have ignored the science for years.
    Their farming of animals, cereal crops and this macho image have led to salinity, sodicity, loss of biodiversity and a bill for future generations will never be repaid.
    Is that your concept of tough? Not mine. Not Farmer Dave’s.
    The loss of land is now measured by the CSIRO as one football field every hour.
    These people will be judged by future generations as vandals of the environment.
    Therefore, as a farmer myself, I find Farmer Dave cultivated a sense of acceptance, fenced by ignorance.
    He left the gate open for others who suffer a similar plight.
    Guts. You betcha!

  3. Hi David,
    My wife and I felt very sorry for your parents and sisters.
    I surpose you have chosen your way to the future. I can understand your father being very upset. Him being I believe a very strong minded person.
    All I can say is I hope and prey that you find someone in the opposite sex get married and have children and carry on the Graham name.
    Some people will say that will not happen. Then again we know that can change?

    All the very best for your future and your dog training overseas.

  4. Farmer Dave broke the mold by not being a stereotypical token gay. Gay characters and personalities in tv and film were mostly screaming queens and Dave was one of the first to show the wider population that not all gay men are from inner sydney, scantily clad, Bolli sipping corset wearers. He was a role model for rural youth where there are no gays in their village.

    By the way has anyone picked up on the twitter rumour that Bert from Sesame Street is coming out? Childrens Television Workshop are disputing it tho!

  5. introduced by Kate Ceberano?.. strange choice… I always thought scientologists had huge problems with homosexuality? Oh well I hope Dave is doing well.

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