★★★★★ 0/5

Dallas

That theme song gets me all stirred up, but is there anywhere to go in the all-new version of Dallas?

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I’ll admit I got very excited when the theme song to Dallas fired up.

The sweeping shots, the Texan landscape, Southfork -it all stirred up memories of a classic television series and dynamite storytelling.

I even thought the idea of bringing back original cast members to pass on the baton to a younger generation was an interesting idea. At least we weren’t going to have some other actor pretending to mimic Larry Hagman. Instead their offspring were now adults carrying forth the Ewing name.

And then I watched the episode. What a let down. This thing is so dull I just wanted to dig out some old VHS tapes of the original, except I don’t have any.

It’s the day of Christopher Ewing’s (Jesse Metcalfe) wedding to Rebecca (Julie Gonzalo) at Southfork, the family estate that his father Bobby (Patrick Duffy) is trying to sell. But cousin John Ross Ewing III (Josh Henderson) has been drilling for oil on the land once more, and has a mean streak inherited by his father.

Bobby is now married to Ann (Brenda Strong), presumably after Victoria Principal declined offers to return as Pamela…

Elsewhere, JR Ewing (Larry Hagman) is withering away in a nursing home (still trying to figure out who shot him, perhaps?) and Sue-Ellen (Linda Gray) turns up for the wedding, and hopefully a drink or two. It has to be said, Linda Gray still looks amazing, even after all these years.

Also attending the wedding were surprise cameos by Charlene Tilton (Lucy) and Steve Kanaly (Ray Krebbs). Hadn’t read they were making an appearance so that was a surprise, even if they had bugger all to do.

Much of the episode centres around do-good Bobby trying to sell Southfork and a feud between Christopher and John Ross. Rebecca (Julie Gonzalo) and John Ross’ squeeze Elena (Jordana Brewster) are so lacking in zest you could probably interchange them without it affecting the performances at all.

Fans of nostalgia will be relieved to hear Larry Hagman and his eyebrows will get more to do before the premiere episode wraps.

The series sorely lacks Barbara Bel Geddes as matriarch Miss Ellie (not even Donna Reed could be raised from the dead for this one). There’s just not enough authority in this clan, as much as they try to steer Bobby into the role.

My hope is that the episode’s biggest faults are due to the need to set-up the new characters, and inform younger generations who are unfamiliar with the original. In truth I don’t think the show has any hope of winning over a young audience. I suspect this will be a curiosity piece for nostalgics like me who, if they’re lucky, may stick around for the new cast.

I admire their Texan spirit in giving this a damn good shot. But so far it falls way short of the plotting of the iconic original.

By the end of it I was kinda hoping Pam would open up the shower door and it would all just be a dream….

Dallas airs 9pm Wednesday on Nine.

22 Responses

  1. i thought the show was amazing, im hooked, i haven’t seen the original as its well before my time, loved the first episode of this cant wait for the next episodes… pity though it didn’t get too good of ratings, views…

  2. Interesting choice of words, as the original show was a bit like Shakespeare. With the strong love between Bobby & Pam and the Barnes/Ewing fued it was akin to a modern day Romeo & Juliet.

  3. I’ve watched the first 6 episodes and am hooked. I was worried what it would be like as I was a fan of the original, but I was pleasantly surprised. It’s certainly not Shakespeare but it’s a return to good old trashy soap.

  4. I Tivo’d this and finally watched it last night. I loved it! I was worried the younger generation wouldn’t be able to carry the load, but I really enjoyed them. We’ve got John Ross as a chip off the old block and Christopher as an upstanding good guy just like Bobby. Predictable? Yup, but that’s just what I want to see – good old fashioned entertainment. Thank God for Revenge and now, seemingly, this show. Seeing so many positive reviews here in the comments section gives me hope this will be a good series. I love me some prime time soap.

  5. Thought the opening episode was terrific, picked up the energy the series hadnt had in the last 3 or 4 years of its previous life and alluded to all the right plot points (Christopher a bought foundling, the history of Miss Ellie’s wishes re southfork etc)It was total class and the last ten mins when Larry woke up and kicked in was a total joy. Glad Nine are doing double next week to give the show a real bolt to get people hooked, they should also re run episode one over the weekend.

  6. I tend to agree with you more then most TV critics and that is why I regularly visit your website,must say though I disagree on this one maybe my expectations were not as high but I thought the general intrigue and shiftiness exceeded all of mine.
    I found my mind instantly shifting back to those teenage years when this show was a weekly must and in particular the last two scenes when it when it was clear the old Dallas was alive again.

  7. I wasn’t even born when the original series was on and I watched this new version out of sheer curiosity and I was quite impressed. They tried to do too much in the first episode in my opinion – for a new viewer it seemed liked they tried to wrap up something left unfinished way back when every 2 minutes and it was somewhat confusing. Overall it was still a brilliant show and I am glad they brought it back to TV.

  8. should be good.It screened and this was about 7 or 8 years before the Footy Show even existed on a Thursday at 9:30pm.So a bit late for me in the eighties as I was only a preteen at the time so will be keen to see what it is like this time around.

  9. I do thoroughly enjoy the new show, but the constant, slightly unrealistic plot twists and cliff hangers seem a bit too much. Here’s hoping that this is just the show trying to establish a first season audience to carry it into the rest of the series, and not just a way to say ‘Hey, we’re just like the original but more shocking.’
    I’m aware that a good primetime drama (or soap opera) does require a lot of ‘gasp, didn’t expect that’ plot points, but when comparing it to something like Revenge, I personally (and, I am most definitely sure there are people who love it, just speaking from my own opinion) just can’t adjust with the five directions an episode could go all at once. Where Revenge’s twists and turns seem well thought out and build over an arc, in the first season (or from what I’ve seen, about half the first season) of Dallas, it seems like the writers have said “So, what if we make this character have another five motives than the twelve they already have?”.

  12. I’ll be watching it for the nostalgia factor. I can remember sneaking out of bed and hiding behind the couch when my parents watched it but it was too late for me to be up.

    Eventually I was old enough and then we watched together.

    But it will have to work hard to keep me interested.

  13. I think a review of one premiere episode of any series is really premature. I think most series need two or three episodes to judge them properly. Its like reviewing a show after the first three scenes. I would have written off classic Tv shows like “Mad Men”, “The Sopranos” as dull from the look of the first two episodes.

  14. I to have watched all 10 episodes with mixed results. The first six episodes appeared rushed and there were some historical mistakes. Then finally someone had the sense to slow the drama down a notch, after-all Dallas was known for its long scenes. Though another 15 episodes have been approved I don’t see it going beyond that and ‘9’ would have been best to have this on GEM. Dallas and Southfork look good in HD.

  15. Gotta disagree with your review David. I’m young (24), never seen a single episode of the original, but this show has me hooked. Watched the entire season and i’m loving it. Gives you enough to get a background lesson, but it’s really all about the now. Can’t compare it to the original, but it’s got the mystery, cliffhangers and dash of soap like Revenge.
    Josh Henderson is the standout i think of the new cast.

  16. Don’t care what the reviews say…granted it ain’t Shakespeare…and a critics job is to criticise and a critic will always find faults in the materail they are criticizing…but who cares…I’m watching Dallas….I watch Melrose Place and admittedly it is trashy televison…but it’s enjoyable at the same time!

  17. Everyone tells me the series is terrific and has won a multitude of fans in the States,. Its just a question of whether Nine will stick with it, certainly at 9pm. It would be better at its old timeslot Tuesdays at 9 30pm. Anyway, I think your review is premature, any series is dull to begin with and its hard to set up something like this, just put the pressure on Nine to leave it alone. This series has to be better than the last two years of the original series which were Awful, glad they arent bringing back JR’;s boring other son or his dopey second wife.Huge mistakes these that brought the initial series down

  19. David, I have seen the entire series and you should stick with it. Many of the characters who are quite dull initially, turn out to be very interesting. And yes, it’s not long before JR is up to his old tricks. Also, the last couple of episodes really liven up and set things in motion for a ripper second season.

  20. having already watched all 10 episoded of the 1st season i caan tell u it has enuf clifhangers and hooks throughout every ep to get new viewers hooked and to keep em interested. the cast looks great. HD is gread, Soouthfork is great and JR’s one liners r laid out for all to hear 7.6/10

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