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TEN board sacks new CEO, Gina Rinehart takes charge.

Exclusive: More drama at TEN as the board sacks its new CEO and installs Gina Rinehart as boss.

ginarEXCLUSIVE: The Board of Network TEN has sacked its new CEO Hamish McLennan after just 2 weeks in the role and appointed shareholder Gina Rinehart to the top job.

The WA billionaire becomes the sixth CEO at the struggling network in just over two years.

McLennan, a former News Corporation executive, is believed to have been dismissed by the Board after failing to lift the ratings during his first two weeks in the job.

Sources say Board members argued that he was perceived to be spending too much time at the Grand Prix in Melbourne and parties in Canberra when he should have been focussed on lifting the network’s performance. The Board has acted immediately, determined to show advertisers it means business.

A source told TV Tonight,”Hanging around with F1 drivers in Melbourne and sipping champers with the media -it just wasn’t a good look when MasterChef was barely in front of SBS. In his first week in the job he went off to Canberra to schmooze with the Press Gallery and politicians. That might be the way to do things with Rupert but not around here.”

A TEN spokesperson declined to thank McLennan for his weeks of service, issuing a blunt statement: “We will not be renewing Hamish’s contract, the details of which we will not discuss publicly.”

Lachlan Murdoch is understood to have put himself forward as Interim CEO once again but Board members howled down the idea in a heated debate. The words “Everybody Dance Now are said to have been exchanged.

With shareholder Bruce Gordon currently embroiled in WIN Television’s legal stoush, the only option was to appoint Rinehart, who has immediately embarked on a hardline approach to turn the network around.

Charlie Pickering has been axed from The Project for his ‘pinky, lefto tree-hugging’ views and the show itself has been trimmed to 30 minutes and bumped to 4pm weekdays. In its place is an expanded, weeknight edition of The Bolt Report.

Dan Ilic has been given his marching orders from Can of Worms for his ‘pinky, lefto tree-hugging’ views and for every ‘smart-arse YouTube clip he has ever and will ever create.’

New quiz show Who Wants to be a Billionaire? will go head to head with Eddie McGuire’s Hot Seat.

Offspring has been axed because of its obvious references to family and siblings. It will be replaced by Family Feud.

In a new crossover idea, all three MasterChef judges will now become contestants on The Biggest Loser.

Adam Boland has been told to cut costs on his new breakfast TV project and will now appear as presenter as well as producer. There are unconfirmed reports he is trying to entice Jerry Seinfeld to co-host, wearing a knitted tie.

Russel Howcroft has been banned from ABC’s Gruen Planet and told to front a new show about the strategies behind selling iron ore and the ways in which it can add to our quality of life. A new Creative Development Unit has been set up to devise a title.

Also coming are The Miner Wants a Wife and  Prospecting with the Stars.

TEN Programmer Beverley McGarvey insisted, “We have developed another new schedule that builds consistency yet again, with shows that are smart, different, authentic and screen with their own stock exchange ticker.”

After months of prolonged under-performance, advertisers and media buyers are said to be encouraged by the network’s new direction.

“Why didn’t they give her the keys to the network ages ago?” a source asked.

“It’s a very big ask, but if Gina can turn the network’s fortunes around, it will be a miner miracle.”

Update: April Fools everyone! Thanks for playing.

175 Responses

  1. “Prospecting With The Stars”…I can picture that, but it would only work if being voted off meant being replaced by someone on a 457 visa.

    I wouldn’t mind seeing Gina Rinehart as CEO of Ten (dare I say it…seriously), but I think she would get very bored of it very quickly. The day-to-day operations of a TV network can be pretty tedious…it’s much more fun to play with the heavy machinery of mining operations and intermittently telling other people to change things at the TV station, than to actually implement the changes yourself.

  2. Holy ****!

    Had me really going there! Forgot the date. I truly believed it all, until I got to the firing of Charlie on The Project and replacing it with Bolt.

    I thought ‘Surely they couldn’t go that far?’ Then realised what day it was!

    I wonder how many comments will turn up with people believing every word? 🙂

  3. If you had’ve mentioned that the theme for “The Miner Wants a Wife” was going to be Rita MacNeil’s “Working Man”, I would have been sold.

  4. I read this at 8am this morning on my phone, thinking it was legit…and then I got to the line about Charlie Pickering!

    This is the best one yet! Well done David

  5. yai the projects back to half an hour, good one Gina but Poor Charlie Pickering he was the funniest one at The Project. Im happy to see Jerry Seinfeld may be Co Host of the new Breakie show though

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