Network notes and dumb execs
A Twitter account has been logging some of the stupid notes from US TV execs to writers.
- Published by David Knox
- on
- Filed under News
They say that kids say the darndest things, but TV executives do too, especially those in the US of A.
Twitter account @TvNetworkNotes, which has apparently been verified as legit, collects comments and notes made by TV execs behind several television networks.
Feast your eyes on some of these pearlers given back to writers:
“Needs to feel a little more multi-cam. These jokes are too witty, too good.” – FOX
— Network Notes (@TvNetworkNotes) October 7, 2013
“That jacket is not conveying fear. What happened to the other jacket?” – CW
— Network Notes (@TvNetworkNotes) September 26, 2013
“Can we make sure she’s more bitter with life so we’re ok with her dying?” – NBC
— Network Notes (@TvNetworkNotes) July 30, 2013
“Our research shows women respond well to violence. Take out the lifeguard and put in the rape scene.” – NBC
— Network Notes (@TvNetworkNotes) May 3, 2013
Upon revealing a 7-foot tall woman with green skin, claws, and a giant domed head: “How do we know she’s an alien?” – SyFy
— Network Notes (@TvNetworkNotes) April 19, 2013
“We’re not a subtle network so you’re just going to have to tell us who’s who and what their deal is.” -Spike
— Network Notes (@TvNetworkNotes) March 5, 2013
“‘Taxi’ (the show) never worked because it was about a bunch of losers.” – NBC
— Network Notes (@TvNetworkNotes) February 22, 2013
“The rest of this episode doesn’t work because the first 20 minutes don’t work.” – USA
— Network Notes (@TvNetworkNotes) February 19, 2013
“I’ve discovered the secret to hit comedies: one word titles. Think about it…Seinfeld, The Office, The Cosby Show..” – ABC
— Network Notes (@TvNetworkNotes) February 12, 2013
In a similar vein the Hollywood Reporter asked a bunch of writers to explain what network execs really mean when they say…
What they say: “This is the bad version of what we want, but you know what I mean.”
What they mean: This is what we want
What they say: “You CRACKED it!”
What they mean: You finally did exactly what we told you to do, after five drafts of you trying to make our dumb note not terrible.
What they say: “Maybe we can get into it faster.”
What they mean: It’s boooooo-ring.
What they say: “It’s a little quiet.”
What they mean: Where are all the penis jokes?
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What they say: “This should feel more like a real family.”
What they mean: They should feel more like one of the fake families in one of our successful shows.
What they say: “I wish this was cable so we could do that sort of thing.”
What they mean: I don’t get it.
What they say: “We sort of miss some of the fun stuff from the pitch.”
What they mean: We are going to fixate on one tiny improvised joke until you build the entire show around it.
What they say: “Maybe I’m just totally missing it.”
What they mean: You are fired.
Via: Courier Mail
5 Responses
TV Execs, doing such a great job that our TV isn’t actually used much for watching ‘TV’ anymore.
One thing I think about when I hear that a show has failed and has been cancelled that a whole host of people, from the actors to stage crew, lose their jobs. And usually the creators have to bite their lip and move on, probably not understanding why their idea plummetted badly. But what we never hear about are the network execs who okay’d the proposals, and whose reputations are riding on the success of these shows. Do they suffer the same impact that the people behind the shows, or do they just turn up at the office the next day as if nothing had happened?
I frequently write about exec movements, including recently ABC Head of Entertainment joining Screentime. Not sure how you are missing these?
@carole – yes, Episodes is great! So funny and witty. Matt Le Blanc is hilarious as an over the top version of himself. I love the little peek into what making a show in Hollywood must be like. Sooo frustrating! Take all the good bits out and put rubbish in!
That show Episodes, with Matt Le Blanc is interesting, it sort of shows what goes on behind the scenes of trying to make a show. The English couple are stumped most of the time by what the dumb Americans want them to do with their show. They practically changed the whole thing. It’s a really funny show.