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Seven Year Switch

It's described as radical and controversial, but Seven's new series takes too long to get going.

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It’s described as a Documentary series, but there is little doubt Seven’s new series Seven Year Switch is anything other than a Reality TV social experiment.

The premise of 4 couples, struggling with their marriages, agreeing to swap partners for 2 weeks is certainly a lot more radical than the long-running Wife Swap (in which families came to grips with new household rules administered by a temporary ‘mum.’)

This time all bets are off as couples are deliberately thrown together in alluring living quarters with just one double bed. Subtle.

Like any Reality show you have to wonder why people would agree to participate. There’s no cash prize. There’s no (apparent) intent to find a life partner. Instead these 4 young white couples explain that they are going on the show to rescue their ailing relationship. Sincerity goes a long way towards the audience believing the format, and I smell a big problem here. If your marriage really is headed for the rocks, how does going on television, how does swapping partners, fix that?

Even the title smells fake. None of the couples appeared to be at the famed “seven year itch” stage of their relationship. Most appeared to average just 2-3 years -indeed, one couple are only engaged and are participating in a last ditch hope to save their relationship before their wedding. Spare me.

But perhaps the biggest problem with Seven Year Switch is in its storytelling. It just takes too long to get started. There is far too much backstory at the top of the show (30 mins worth and that’s without ads) meeting the 4 couples.

Relationship experts Peter Charleston and Jo Lamble meet the couples in their homes and identify their problem areas before the show simplifies them into swap card personalities: the impulsive, the compromiser, the larrikin, the workaholic,the realist, the man-child etc.

There’s the woman who gets no intimacy from her partner. “Say you love me back on TV you [bleep].”

There’s the couple who met on Tindr and have a pet parrot named Squishy. There’s the bloke who loves his motorbikes more than his partner and the woman who tragically lost a baby during childbirth.

All four couples will be interchanged by the experts. In the 1970s they were called Swingers. Now it’s called Switch Therapy. Are you still watching?

Before they say farewell, the couples explain things to their families and friends, all of whom are suitably cynical. One poor bloke who presumably has no immediate family keeps a straight face while he breaks the news to his work mates. I wait for the high five that never comes at the end of it.

Finally after a mind-numbing 50 minutes (yes that’s without ads) the couples part and head off to their new living quarters. Each of these is like a Home Beautiful spread: stunning beach houses and tropical getaways, with a pool or spa (hint hint) and a sole double bed. First arrivals are suitably shocked. What the hell did you think you were signing up for, dummies? Before the couples meet the credits roll, as anti-climactic as you can get with your pants on.

Overlooking that this show is clearly a response to Married at First Sight (another dubious premise, but at least I get why people sign up for it), it leaves too many unanswered questions. Is it irresponsible to leave young babies for 2 weeks while you pursue a Reality TV show? Is it an unfair lifestyle comparison when couples are parachuted into paradise? How do the relationship experts justify the ludicrous premise? What’s the “seven year” reference got to do with anything other than its pun value? And who will look after Squishy?

Looking at the promos Seven appears to be hoping the show will succeed on its shock value. They will need to hope there are enough people who stick around long enough for the second episode for that to happen.

Seven Year Switch premieres 9pm Tuesday on Seven.

5 Responses

  1. This reminds me Resturant Revolution. It spent too long setting up the premise, which makes me think nothing interesting happened while filming and they are literally trying to fill time.

  2. I reckon this is going to flop hard and Seven will either rush through the episodes in the two week non-ratings period or it will be moved to 10.30pm by episode 2.

    1. I really hope you are right. Not a thing about this show entices me to watch even 1 second of it. It just seems like pure crap. Surprised it got even 2 stars in the review.

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