If only Johnny Depp & Amber had watched Bart vs Australia

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This week’s apology by Johnny Depp & Amber Heard is all a bit too surreal.

Much of what unfolded had already played out in the 1995 Simpsons episode Bart vs Australia.

It began after Bart racked up a collect-call down under to enquire about the direction of flushing water. The $900 “dollarydoos” bill, which so happened to involve a neighbour of an Australian Member of Parliament, soon escalated to a higher authority. After letters went ignored, the Australian Government indicted Bart for fraud, but a US official pointed out an apology to the Aussies may settle the case.

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Marge: No, no, no! I’m not gonna have my son go to jail over some silly tiff with Australia. You’ll just have to find some other country to have relations with.
US Official: There is one other option. They’ll drop the charges if Bart makes a public apology in Australia.
Marge: All Bart has to do is apologise and we get a free trip to Australia? I can handle that.

Upon arrival to Australia Bart and Lisa noticed a Customs sign warning not to bring in any flora or fauna. Bart ignored the sign and lets a pet frog go free.

Bart: What does that sign say? I thought they spoke English in this country.
Lisa: It says you can’t bring in outside plants or animals. Any foreign creature you bring in could upset the environmental balance.
Bart: Sorry, girl, I don’t want to get in any more trouble down here. I’ll pick you up on the way home.

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Later a Court ruled Bart must be subjected to “the booting” from the Prime Minister.

 

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Bart: I’m sorry. I’m sorry for what I did to your country.
Andy: Well, you’re free to go, Bart right after your additional punishment.
Homer: Punishment?
Andy: A mere apology would be a bit empty. Let the booting begin!
Homer: Booting?
Andy: It’s just a little kick in the bum.
Homer: What kind of a sick country would kick someone with a giant boot?
Andy: Mr. Simpson, shush. Disparaging the boot is a bootable offense.

The way the apology played out with Depp & Heard -while Deputy PM Barnaby Joyce was also our acting Prime Minister- is only something that could happen in Springfield.

Or Queensland.

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5 Comments:

  1. bettestreep2008

    OMG . Thanks for this. That Simpsons episode is exactly what this Pistol and Booboo fiasco reminds me of.

    And Barnaby Joyce might be boasting about this ‘obviously insincere’ apology video – but the rest of the world is laughing their heads off at Australia. Stephen Colbert has mocked this ‘apology’ beautifully and sadly slammed all us Australians.

    Thanks for nothing Barnaby.

  2. Maev....Sydney

    OMG…DK….love this…and remember it….and how come Mr Depp and Wife did not get our Big Boot….LOLOL…
    And as for both our countries speaking English…we do….but Oh So differently….
    they barely understand us…and likewise …we them…Just start with recipes…a minefield…..*G*….try paracetamol in the US…unknown…Google it…*S*

  3. Armchair Analyst

    Yeah Depp and Heard’s appology, a bit like bart’s was not sincere. “900 dollarydoos?.Tobias, did you make a collect call to the states?” ” “it was an emergency with the international dranage commision of springfield” “oh my god! theres nothing wrong with the beday is there?” Absolutely classic and still funny. love it. Booting would be an apt punishment lol.

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