Here comes 58 minutes of your life you won't get back (90 with ads).
Ok we can do this really quickly…. unlike the show itself.
Firstly, I accept I am not the audience for Yummy Mummies so this review comes with some context.
Secondly, Seven marketing has already declared Yummy Mummies as “controversial” before it even airs, so I have no qualms in adding to that.
Thirdly, Yummy Mummies is 58 minutes of your life you will never get back. 90 minutes if you include ads. It’s possibly the worst show I have seen this year, and I had to sit through The Last Resort.
I struggled to find any redeeming qualities in this, which feels like content built around someone’s idea of a title. Ok wait, at least it avoids the Real Housewives of Sydney abuse, I guess that’s something.
The ‘premise’ is three expectant young mothers from Melbourne who have it all, but want to out-do another in Adelaide. That means the best baby shower, the best of every vomitous, designer accessory that would feed a third world country for a week. Yet it fails to explain why.
There’s no basic storytelling to explain why three women want to compete with someone they have never met, in a ‘competition’ that doesn’t exist in the first place. Indeed, I don’t especially remember it even explaining how the three Melburnians came to be friends? Met in the Seven casting office, perhaps?
In one ridiculous scene, Adelaide’s Maria Digeronimo feigns surprise when shown a Yummy Mummies Instagram account by Lorinska Merrington, Rachel Watts & Jane Scandizzo… as if it’s something she’s never heard of before. That’s despite the fact Yummy Mummies cameras have been following her around for their banal footage. Seriously…
She invites them to her baby shower to show off… predictably they accept and hey presto we have a series. Maria’s over-the-top mother Margherita is on hand with Versace, flowers, Versace, champers (is that actually safe?), and more Versace to create mother / daughter tension. Maria makes endless petulant demands of everybody around her. Hormonal? Doubtful. Spoiled brat? You decide.
It’s not clear why producers have cast 4 of the same thing in this pointless, grotesque diversion, which presumably is pitching for a Real Housewives audience. But it lacks humour which is essential to the genre. People acting up for the sake of cameras is not Television. It’s masturbation.
The scary part is self-obsessed women are bringing children into the world, but I won’t be hanging around long enough to see if any perspective or humility arrives with their placenta. This only gets half a star for the thankless crew who at least framed the scenes so that we can see what a travesty it is.
Yummy Mummies makes Brynne: My Bedazzled Life look like Meryl Streep. You can put that on the promo.
Yummy Mummies airs 9pm Sunday on Seven.