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Insight: Oct 31

What’s it like growing up in a step-family?

This week on Insight, step-kids reveal what life’s really like inside their families.

Every family has inherent tensions but what happens when your parents split up and re-partner and your family now includes a stepparent and their kids?

While many Australian kids live in stepfamilies, combining children from different parents into one big family can be full of surprises and challenges.

Insight meets a stepfamily of seven kids ranging in age from 12 to 18 who call themselves ‘The Brady Bunch plus One’.

“There are more kids to play with and more things to do”, they tell host Jenny Brockie.

But there have been tensions, particularly over their stepdad’s discipline and rules. “I used to laugh at him and tell him you’re not my stepdad”, says Josh, 18, who eventually left home to live with his biological dad when the fights got bad.

Children grieving over a divorce or separation often resent the arrival of a new adult with a child or two. “I was shocked. I didn’t want it to happen,” says Kye, 16, when his Mum started going out with his future stepdad 10 years ago.

Some say it can take years for relationships to start working in stepfamilies.

Griffin, 13, lives with his Mum and a “very strict” stepmum who arrived in his life five years ago. “I absolutely despised her at the start. I was like come on, back off … but without Kirsten I wouldn’t be where I am today.”

Adam, 16, lives with his Dad and Brazilian stepmum who brought a much younger little stepbrother into the family, as well as “culture, music and better food”. Adam’s also recently welcomed the arrival of a new baby half-brother which has changed the family dynamic again.

We also meet only child Ty, 17, who calls his stepparents ‘Mum and Dad’. His four parents have different cultural backgrounds, South African, Filipino, Indonesian and Chinese-Fijian, and a WhatsApp group to keep tabs on his movements.

“I can’t hide anything,” he tells Jenny. “But it’s such a good environment that when you ask about what’s bad about being a stepkid, I don’t have an answer for it.”

Tuesday at 8.30pm on SBS.

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