Eurovision 2021 in Sydney, as Rotterdam abandoned.

EXCLUSIVE: In a major coup for Australian Eurovision fans, organisers of the Eurovision Song Contest have cancelled plans for Rotterdam in May and all 39 acts will converge on the Sydney Opera House.

SBS will be host broadcaster for the May 19 – 23 spectaculars, to be beamed across Europe for the first time from “Down Under.”

Dami Im will host joined by comedian Joel Creasey & presenter Myf Warhurst with the event to seat 2,600 fans.

The European Broadcasting Union is understood to have abandoned Scenarios A, B, C and D and pivoted to ‘Operation G’Day,’ secretly planned under the federal government’s Location Incentive Attraction Fund.

“Australia has had a love affair with Eurovision for 40 years and we can’t think of a safer or more socially distant country than one 15,000 km away,” organisers said in a statement.

“Besides we don’t really know what Australia is doing in Eurovision either.”

All acts and delegations are being vaccinated in their own countries and will controversially spend just 7 days in quarantine in Sydney, following special approval by the Federal and NSW Governments.

NSW Premier Gladys Berejiklian said, “First Zac Effron and Matt Damon, now Conchita Wurst and Jedward discovering the wonders of Sydney. Deux Points!”

“The Morrison Government is pleased to support this iconic cultural fixture,” said Minister for Communications and the Arts Paul Fletcher. “As long as it’s not on the ABC. What time will ABBA be on?”

Producers Blink TV are currently preparing an opening number described as a quintessential smorgasbord of Australiana: kangaroos, boomerangs, surf lifesavers and dual flush toilets.

Guest stars set to appear include Sia, Keith Urban, Rhonda Burchmore, Dannii Minogue (Kylie was unavailable) and Kamahl (direct from his second appearance at Carnegie Hall). An offer from Bruce Samazan to reprise rap single “One of a Kind” was declined.

Former SBS presenter Lee Lin Chin will also return as Green Room host after producers knocked back a plea from Beau Ryan.

“Too much of a hugger,” she quipped.

Update: Happy April Fool’s everyone, thanks for playin’!

Photo by Roberto Parlavecchio.

58 Comments:

  1. Awesome David, one of your best because it was very plausible. This is the longest I’ve had to read one of your April Fools before it clicked. I started to get excited because I thought it was true.🤣

  2. Are the contestants technically “eliminated” from Eurovision? I think not, since they’re all in it until the end. Therefore, I think Beau Ryan would be a perfect host, since he has the necessary experience of just yelping “this is a non-elimination leg” over and over. Although, I’d be a little worried that he may add contestants from Egypt, The UAE & Greenland about half way through the contest!

  3. Back in post #1 in 2007 I said, “TV criticism is sometimes way too serious, so I’ll be chucking in the odd frivolous idea just for the sake of it too.” 75,000+ posts later still up to no good! And for those who missed it, Eurovision have done their own April Fool’s “WinterVision.” “Should they decide to participate, the Australian delegation will be given special dispensation to submit a Summertime banger.”

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