It had been promised as a show with adult content that didn’t fit the 7pm timeslot, but Big Brother Confidential failed to deliver last night.
While Nine was never going to match the Uncut / Adults Only shows of previous years, it didn’t even bother to stump up with a host or panel for this show.
Instead it was just another clip show narrated by Mike Goldman with a few magazine-style graphics.
There was no nudity and barely even any swearing (“shit” and “piss” were the extremes). There was a quick flash of pubic hair, a poke of a breast and a bit of farting.
While I get there is no pink bits in Nine’s new “family friendly” edition I kept waiting for the more adult conversations.
Michael posed some weird hypothetical questions, Bradley wanted to get his back smeared with sunscreen from Estelle, Sarah admitted she had implants and Benjamin spoke about gay parenting. But why is gay parenting not ok for 7pm when we have Modern Family in the same timeslot? There was nothing too hot in his conversation at all.
Where were the extra bits from Estelle and Ryan’s bed smooching? We have no idea how far things went between them -even if they’re visually too racy for “family friendly”.
This was a cartoon version of Big Brother where the content supported the graphics, not the other way around. I felt like I wasted an hour with no real insight into the housemates. By contrast, the 7pm edition was actually rather good last night, showing divisions between female housemates. Finally something other than who is hottest.
Nine’s view of BB 2012 versus former series is “that was then, this is now” and we’re supposed to stop comparing with what we knew before. It’s a great theory but if BB is back at Dreamworld with Mike Goldman narrating then that’s a pretty big ask.
I’d like to see Big Brother Confidential doing what Big Mouth used to do: have a host, a panel discussion with some lively debates and some meaty content. I think it’s possible to do this without compromising the racy stuff that Nine is so nervous about. But it does involve actually producing a studio show, even as low-rent telly.
Give Mike Goldman a show please!
Big Brother Confidential airs 10pm Wednesdays on Nine.