★★★★★ 0/5

Battlefronts

Here comes another team of cheerful, pranking landscapers. But the gardening tips are always secondary to the moment we really wanna see: the big reveal.

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Hold onto your spades, here comes another gardening makeover show. This one, from Channel Nine, is set entirely on the front lawns of suburbia.

Two Battlefronts teams of competing landscapers will transform rather bland-looking gardens in just one day, on a budget of $10,000. It’s the speed-dating of gardening. The local neighbourhood will choose a winner -I’m not really sure what they actually win, as it would seem the “loser” benefits just as much as the winner. The property values of two houses will increase from having the Nine team bestow their skills. You’d think a valuer should therefore decide the winner…

But Battlefronts thrives on its communal feel. This show is chockful of friendly neighbours, kids on tricycles, and the sort of folk who will lend you a wheelbarrow or bake some scones at the drop of a hat.

Giaan Rooney referees the teams, who are a good-looking bunch of landscapers brimming with zest and cheerful smiles. If you don’t have a garden needing a makeover, you could just as easily invite them over for a BBQ and they’d probably come at it with as much enthusiasm as they do horticulture. Heck, they spend just as much time pranking as they do gardening. I do find myself wondering if these experts actually finish the jobs they tell us they are undertaking, or whether they down tools once the camera has filmed their viewer tips.

Even the SES is roped in to assist (let’s hope their rescue skills are better than their acting).

There is also a military tone to Battlefronts with khaki colours, “rules of engagement” and Rooney as something of a designer drill sergeant throughout.

The two houses, joined only by a fence, are bland indeed. The neighbours are also good friends. One is a young family headed by a paediatrician. The other is a retired widower living on her own –nice to see a single getting a look in, for once. One of the strongest elements of the show is that it actually feels like an ordinary street in an ordinary suburb.

The gardening tips in the show, like most of these programmes, is secondary to the aspiration and the big reveal. Rooney, rather wisely, doesn’t attempt to match the gardening expertise of Jamie Durie, whose show she will compete with this Sunday night.

The end results are certainly aesthetic (even if Rooney tells us “anyone” can make over their yard). It would be interesting to learn if the $10,000 gardens were bolstered by sponsor ‘freebies’, not to mention the cost of the free labour. 300 of the neighbourhood gather for the big reveal, from kids to grandmas all cheering for the two lucky house-owners. All cheering for Giaan and Channel Nine.

At sixty minutes, the story-telling is stretched for what is now an exhausted genre. It’s hard to find a point of difference in these things anymore. Personally if I see another blokey landscaper arguing with a cheery blonde over the best way to build a sandpit I may just go and shove them in a city apartment building and lock the door behind them. But Battlefronts is lightweight enough to suit as a Sunday diversion. After all, we don’t really care about which is the best hammer to use. We just wanna see the look on the faces when they see what’s happened to their home. Right?

Battlefronts airs 6:30pm Sunday on Nine.

KINDLY CONTACT NINE FOR ENQUIRIES REGARDING THIS SHOW.

33 Responses

  1. i watched and liked the fibre optic lighting you put in the sleepers pathway, and wanted to buy some, could you please inform me as to where they were supplied from….thanks.

  3. Battlefronts show Oct 12th mentioned /showed some white material used for keeping water off garden walls ,pronounced – Gee ho . Can you advise what it was called please, can’t find it on the web.
    Battlefronts host Gianne is a great host. She is very natural with a personality to match.

    thanking you in advance.
    Regrds
    Margaret Mercer

  4. I’m always up for a good backyard improvement show, and while I’m really only interested in the final product than the lead up to it, so far it’s been a bit disappointing. Not to say there hasn’t been any I have liked, I have gotten a few ideas. And while I like Giaan, she seems a lovely person and accomplished, however I can’t watch while listening to her voice. It’s not …. smooth, for lack of a better description, almost like she is nervous beyond belief and it grates against my ears. Definately not ‘easy listening’. Sorry Giaan.

  5. Why why why is this disgrace still on the tv please? Is channel nine serious get it off. The makeovers are so average talk about chucking some pine bark down throw plants willy nilly and gardeners and renovators acting like twits grrrrrrr go away battlefronts.

  6. Why is not one person on this terrible show wearing a hat? Are we flaunting skin cancer now are we, this show should be about setting an example or you will end up sundamaged like the green teams Celia and Joel. Celia 32?? Yeah right try 42!

  7. Oh please ! Battlefronts has noone on it who seems to be able to communicate any information without the cheesy grin.. Celai is called ” Ceels: by Giaan and we are meant to believe she is sincere?? Jamie durie will gt my support as he has credibility and seems genuine ! Get this show off Channel Nine !

  8. Battlefronts! The only battle going on there is Giaan trying to get the homeowners to giggle more than her and for the viewers to sit through the entire show !

  10. Why is this show still on? Giaan get off this sinking ship I agree with Melissa, Celia is so false it reminds you that she is reading some bad script it ruins the show at least the black team seem natural. Sack the rest

  11. John you would not be part of this show by any chance would you?! It would surely have to be the ONLY reason you are backing this fizzer and the low digs about Jamie Durie are not going to fool anyone. Jamie is a respected gardener unlike the cast of this mess.

  13. how bad was this show it was so contrived and low grade acting no one will tune in again. The green team was hideous I wanted to bury them in the front lawn along with their spades! Celia lose the manicured nails they were about as natural as your talent (ha ha I or should I say lack of talent!!)

  14. Both of tonight’s gardens turned out wonderfully suiting each home owner;s needs. I would be delighted if your team of experts would like to give my garden a makeover with my neighbour. Do you think your team could come to South Australia?

    A picket fence, arbour, drought tolerant plants applied with style – MAGIC!

  16. How do we get on this show? I live in a small town in the Adelaide Hills (Charleston, SA) and myself and a bunch of volunteers are in the the process of constructing a small BMX Bike Track for the local kids. The land has been donated by the local community and we desperately need this area landscaped. How about doing your show with a difference, landscape our bike track and another bike track in the next town (Woodside), which is in a bit of a mess and compare them. The bike tracks are smallish and your budget would give a great boost to our communities, hope to hear from you, Regards Alison Kay.

  17. I would love to support my neighbour with a new garden as he supported us with the death of our children and mother in a truck accident. We live in the most awesome street in Australia, as we all know each other and talk on a daily basis. It’s nothing for one of us to mow anothers lawn when something has gone wrong.

    Kath Campbell

  21. All of the team are experienced and professional horticulturists, carpenters and landscape designers – not “extras” pretending to be gardeners as suggested.

    The wit and charm of this team is its point of difference. Gone are the days where we see a bunch of serious long-faced characters attempting to make “good television”, this team, along with Giaan have a natural character to them and the “practical jokes and tomfoolery” they get up to on set whilst shooting, and is thanks to their natural wit and character. The majority of these jokes are accidentally caught on camera when the executive producers and directors turn their backs. A very fast-paced show which entertains on its own without the need for a charity come “do-gooder” bi-line.

    A stand out next to Giaan Rooney is Adam Goodchild on the Black Team, down to earth aussie-bloke who is not too prissy like some other ex-stripper’s we know of, and is not too blokey, just an honest, loveable larakin.

  23. Unrealistic expectations is how I describe these shows.
    Or just a magic show.

    $10,000, a stack of labourers (all heavily experienced) well worked out plans and then the BEST in materials.

    Yeah right !!

    Have to disagree with this comment of yours David ‘it actually feels like an ordinary street in an ordinary suburb.’

    Feels like a set up to me just like a stage set.
    And howmany of these deserving folks that get “garden/house makeovers are MATES of the production staff.

  24. I hate all the damn practical jokes and other tomfoolery they go on with on these shows.

    And is Giaan a strong enough presenter/personality to carry her own show?

    I think I’ll pass.

  25. B-O-R-I-N-G dribble, a bunch of “extras” pretending to be gardeners and why are the blokes always hot and the chicks plain janes on these manufactured shows?

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