★★★★★ 0/5

The Celebrity Apprentice Australia

Celebrities looking to elevate their profile and a Network looking to strip a format -but aside from the boss in the chair, does it all fit together?

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Two years ago when I reviewed The Apprentice Australia I wasn’t particularly taken by its fake secretary in a fake office foyer or the awkward first steps by the local version of Donald Trump, Mark Bouris.

But as the series progressed Bouris improved a lot and viewers began to rally behind some of the finalists (Real Estate auctioneer Andrew Morello was the eventual winner). Mark Bouris told me in an interview he was keen for a second season, but it’s taken the success of the Celebrity Apprentice in the US to fire up a second shot at the franchise here.

While the US had Joan Rivers, Cindy Lauper, Sharon Osbourne, David Cassidy, Gary Busey, Meatloaf and Dionne Warwick, somehow we got lumbered with the likes of Wendell Sailor, Max Markson and Polly Porter (now you’re a celebrity just for entering another Reality series).

With any Reality series I look for an end-point, ie. does the show offer an outcome (recording contract, publishing deal etc.) or is it purely about cash? With shows like Celebrity Apprentice and Dancing with the Stars I reckon the end point is about elevating your profile. It’s thinly attached to the virtues of charity of course, but that’s largely incidental. Damien Leith’s announcement as host of New Idea Test Kitchen following his DWTS final being a case in point.

Mr. Bouris is back with his two executives, Deborah Thomas and Brad Seymour.

Now with more confidence, he fires off some questions to his boisterous participants, many of whom seem to be taking it all pretty casually. I guess you can afford to relax when you don’t really have much at stake. A few egos chuck in a few bold claims. If we’re supposed to be stirred by the level of malevolence, I’m already beginning to feel like it’s either phony or there’s more than a few tossers here.

Mr. Bouris divides the teams by gender and they are assigned the task of coming up with their team names ahead of their first challenge: a car wash to raise money for charity.

Cameras focus on disagreement and comedy in these preliminary sessions. Noisy Max Markson dominates over his team with ideas, claims, gags. Warwick Capper constantly reminds us of his own vanity. Pauline Hanson is given a marketing role, but collides so awkwardly that she will probably prove a great casting choice. Her contribution to her team’s marketing strategy is a car wash sign using “Please Explain” because she is constantly asked by the public to say it. “It resonitates with me,” she insists. Gold.

The afternoon at the car wash provides much of the opening 60 minute premiere. The two teams argue, work, prank, fret, sleep, and more or less prostitute themselves in the spate of 3 hours. I felt like I watched 2 hours and 50 minutes of the thing and I didn’t even get a car washed. It’s just too long.

By the time Mr. Bouris turned up in the board-room I was happy for the change of scenery. Surmising their performance he was direct and authoritative. It resonitated with me.

By the end of the episode I wanted to slap Max Markson (or more easily, just turn the show off). At least Julia Morris provided a bit of self-deprecation, which is pretty hard amongst this lot.

After the success of The Block, Nine is stripping Celebrity Apprentice Australia across its weeknight schedule. It means after the first 60 minutes we have to come back the next night to see who will be fired. Maybe Trump would fire the story producer. Another challenge and firing will follow on Wednesday and Thursday.

But The Block introduced us to 4 unknown couples, allowing us to get to know their characters as episodes unfolded. We also weren’t stuck with several unlikeable contestants whose principal purpose for appearing “out of their comfort zone” is to be back in the media spotlight.

At 60 minutes this format normally ticks off the necessary turning points for a diverting dose of Reality television. At 3 hours I worry it will just tick me off.

Oh well. At least there’s no fake secretary this time round.

The Celebrity Apprentice Australia airs 7pm weeknights on Nine.

48 Responses

  1. I wasn’t going to watch it, but thought i’d give it 10 minutes and it drew me right in. It’s a good mix of characters and drop kicks, which is what this sort of show needs. Like so many i’m sure, one can only hope the first to go is Max. Enough said about that clown. Small thing, but why aren’t Capper and Shane termed “Footy” Legends or the like also. Seems a bit alienating to just use the term “Footy” with regards to Wendel.

  2. well just finish watching Celebrity Apprentice Australia was not to bad but it was not good either. But will not be watching it next week or their after who finishes a show like that. yes you drag it out go to an ad break but you dont end it for next week?

  4. I have to say I quite liked it. I agree with David that it was too drawn out in places but I think people will be surprised by the ratings. I am tipping 1.25-1.4 million (150,000 margin I know……)

  6. I watched this program and absolutely loved it!! Hope Max gets booted out tomorrow. He has too much ego and is a lazy sod!! Love Pauline Hanson!! Go Pauline!!! Go! go! go!!

  9. Just who honestly thought that breaking up a full episode into two was a good idea? The American version is a great watch! It’s on once a week and I watch it every chance I get. Trust channel nine to stuff the show. Once again I’ll go back to pay tv as free to air has totally lost there way. If I am to watch the show I will download it so I don’t have to put up with the BS. Just please don’t try and re-invent the wheel with the Cricket as you have done here, you can’t do it.

  13. @Zoe Umm in this version they’re raising money for a charity, not trying to get a job with Mark Bouris. So you’d expect this to be dumb and fun not intelligent and straight laced.

  14. i enjoy watching the US version so will give this a go. I must admit watching the US version once a week really drags it out for months and i am glad when its over so i can watch something else, maybe stripping it is better.

  16. When comparing the celebrities involved with the US Apprentice, it should be noted that the majority of them are at the end of their careers, and therefore available for the show. Whereas it would be difficult to find so many big name Australians willing to commit to the series. I also disagree that many of the Australian celebrities are only doing the show to further their own careers. It’s a gig, and it’s for charity, and I think that is the main reason most of them are doing it.

  21. This is the sort of show that you can dip in and dip out of it seems to be crappy and full of ads. I will however be dipping in to watch the hot bikini babe in the car wash. Good ‘ol ch9…they still know sex sells……bugger

  22. I am sitting on the fence on this one, and David’s review reiterates my waivering. There are some truly irritating ‘celebrities’, and it is a big ask for viewers in the now successful ‘stripped’ format, to put up with the odd mix of people. that holds only minimal interest. I guess, like Dancing with the Stars and It takes two, the talent pool in this country gets thin quite fast, and they are shows that actually require some talent, if not measurable ‘celebrity’. But this show, seems to require very little of either talent or celebrity. But i am sure it will rate, at least for the first week or two. Frankly reruns of Prisoner on 111 hits, or the Project may be a more entertaining and illiuminating pasttime.

  23. American apprentice is 1 hour per elimination, per week.
    This is 1.5hours per elimination, 2 times a week. Pass.
    Perhaps they already know its a flop and that’s why they are doing it this rushed….

  25. Thanks for the review. I watch the US versions, Survivor, Amazing Race and even stuck with the Block this year but I will not watch this 4 nights a week. I’d be happy to give it a go once a week for one hour. I’m fed up with networks doing this.

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