Returning: Get Krack!n

Be afraid. The Kates are back with a new season of Get Krack!n next Wednesday, including with a studio audience and locations for some of it.

Things kick off with the final stop of their “We Bloody Love Australia” tour aboard a paddle-steamer on the Mighty Murray River.

Look out for Heidi Arena, Anne Edmonds, Isaiah Firebrace, Tripod, Michala Banas, Denise Scott, Justine Clarke and Greg Larsen.

Get Krack!n, the morning show that made you want to go straight back to bed is back for a brand new season!

Well, despite the loss of a sponsor, the incompetence of the crew, the femaleness of the hosts, and a pretty devastating structural fire, it seems that Get Krack!n, the world’s earliest morning TV show, is still on air. And no-one is more surprised and fatigued by this fact than the show’s hosts, “trained” “actor” Kate McLennan and “personality-challenged” Kate McCartney.

This time round, it’s 2019, and as evidenced by the unrelenting news cycle, the melting ice-caps and a d**k-soaked political landscape, the world hasn’t gotten any better. In fact, since Get Krack!n was last on our screens, everything seems to have gotten far, far worse. So, just like it’s higher-rating, primetime morning TV counterparts, Get Krack!n has ramped up the quota of content that is designed to both distract and fuel the technicolour hellfire of daily existence.

At the start of the season we find The Kates out on the road with their ‘We Bloody Love Australia’ tour – a convenient way to bump up their regional numbers while also biding time until their fire-damaged studio is rebuilt. Once back in the over-lit safety of the Get Krack!n studio, The Kates are joined by their regular on-camera team; eternal intern Scarlett Nicdao, stoic Beautifikation Krackspert Penny Kwan, alluring Get Krack!n weather girl BekJut, and fresh from jail, the irrepressible Shopper’s Korner host, Helen Bidou.

They also welcome a new roster of “kracksperts” who tackle everything from organic cleaning products to wellness, face masks to home hacks, and couchercise to an all-white panel discussing whether racism “is a thing”.

Amongst all of this apocalypse-dodging content is a new producer who’s desperate to make their mark on the public toilet wall that is Australian light entertainment. As a result, The Kates variously find themselves dealing with a studio audience, a short-lived male co-host, and a People with Disability Episode that ends in a Twitterstorm. Then, there is the mountain of small print contractual obligations that see the hosts working on a Saturday clip show, and offering up morsels of their private lives for public consumption. There’s nothing they won’t be forced into for more hits on their Facebook page.

And like any morning show worth its weight in outrage, the Kate’s tackle the big stories that everyday Australians want on the agenda: haunted dolls, glamping tableaus, frozen rosé and the small outbreaks of sea lice that threaten the Australian way of life.

But the burning realities of the world can only be kept at bay for so long, and as the series draws on, it becomes a race to see what explodes first; the planet, or McCartney and McLennan’s pressurised skulls.

9pm Wednesday on ABC.