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Best Gogglebox quotes

"Let's watch bogans get arrested on the telly."

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Gogglebox Australia returned to LifeStyle last night as the top rating show on Subscription Television, as families gave couchtime reviews of such shows as Celebrity Apprentice, The X Factor and RBT.

Here’s a snapshot of some of my favourite quotes:

“I sound like Andrew O’Keefe. Laughing at my own jokes”

World’s Biggest Pets:

“Last week Channel Nine got on board the primetime pet video bandwagon.” (Narrator)

“That’s what happens when you let a bison in the house.”

Celebrity Apprentice:

“They pick d***heads to go on this show.”

“You don’t moon people in front of Kerri-Anne Kennerley.”

“Geoffrey looks like Weekend at Bernie’s”

Nigella Feasts:

“I want to know if she’s still doing Coke?”

Australian Story profile of Malcolm Turnbull

“I don’t want him to be relatable to me, because I don’t want me running the country.”

“If this happened in Asia there would have been a couple of assassinations.

“He looks like a leader. He doesn’t look like Bozo the Clown.”

The X Factor:

“Everytime you say something bad about a Minogue fairy dies.”

“(Simon Cowell) looks like a burns victim who has other people’s skin on him.”

“I don’t think it’s got any factor quite frankly.”

“Dannii you have no idea. That’s why your sister’s a singer and you’re not.”

RBT:

“Let’s watch bogans get arrested on the telly.”

“F***ing taser him.”

You can catch the episode tonight at 8:30pm on TEN.

21 Responses

  1. I’d like to see gogglebox reactions to a place to call home, empire, the good wife and madam secretary. Please don’t give us another episode of reality, dogs and breath tests.

  2. I haven’t laughed so much for a long time. First time viewer and I’ll definitely keep watching.

    Also, reading the quotes here reminded me of the column in TV Week, back in the 70’s, that printed the funniest lines from the week’s tv.

  3. Thanks David, even though I watched it I thoroughly enjoyed this article, wish you’d do it every week! So much gold to relive. Weekend at Bernie’s was definitely my favourite, it was spot on.

    1. Thanks Mandy. I did do it for the premiere episode earlier this year. I don’t usually do recaps, they take so much time and to me they are after the event… my time is better spent on before (ie. a review). But Gogglebox is kinda different as it is TV on TV, and doesn’t take as much time. There’s also a unique window in between STV and FTA if I am quick off the mark. What do others think?

  4. I loved the Dalton’s Father saying to the youngest daughter “What three things do you want in a boyfriend” and she replies “Hot” but nothing else and then he does the money hand signal and she says “Daaad, I’m not like that anymore” – hilarious because it sounds like my sister

    1. You can watch on tenplay but be very quick episodes only are online for 1 day only (think its a rights thing because of all shows they feature)

  5. I’m sorry but the best bit was at the very end when the little kid said about the bogan going to jail – “but he didn’t get his foot long (Subway)” and the brother replied “I’m sure he will.” Magic bit of editing. Love this show

    1. Yep, that was the most hilarious comment of the night! It’s a shame they only had reality, observationals and current affairs to watch this week. Hopefully with new drama starting this week and next week we can see some alternative programs. Would like to see their thoughts on Utopia, Media Circus, 800 Words and some of Ten/Sevens new US titles.

  6. You missed the naration introducing Celebrity Apprentice. “On Wednesday, we watched Australia’s most available celebrities on Celebrity Apprentice.”

  7. Best bit: in the Batchelorette segment, while everyone’s commenting on the boganity of the paper rose, keep an eye on the youngest Delpechitra sitting quietly down there…

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